3SOF

Subject: YOU DA MAN TEST



YOU DA MAN TEST...

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
   A. Lovemaking
   B. Screwing
   C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
   A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
   B. Your blood-test results
   C. Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:
   A. Your partner climaxes first.
   B. You both climax simultaneously.
   C. You don't miss Sports Center

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
   A. Healthy, creative love-play
   B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
   C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
   A. The best part of the experience
   B. The second best part of the experience
   C. $100 extra

6. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
   A. A myth
   B. An oxymoron
   C. A Moron

7. Foreplay is to sex as:
   A. Appetizer is to entree
   B. Primer is to paint
   C. A long line is to an amusement park ride

8. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
   A. "I hope we can still be friends"
   B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
   C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU."

9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
   A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with the intimacy.
   B. Is uptight and a waste of time
   C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


EVALUATING RESULTS:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you ARE a male!

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"

Extreme logic:
A woman finds a skunk in her basement. She calls a radio help line. "Leave a trail of breadcrumbs from your basement to your backyard," advises the show's host.

An hour the later the woman called back, even more upset, "Now I have two skunks in basement." -- Dave Aston, in Readers Digest.


SHOFAR IDOL!  VERY FUNNY! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
http://www.danmeth.com/shofaridol.htm

Marriage:
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

Let's be super literal:
Boudreaux tries out for the tigers....

Boudreaux, a college freshman at LSU fresh from the swamp tries for the football team.

Can you tackle?" asked the coach the first day of practice.

"Watch dis," Boudreaux told him, and proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"

"Mais, sure I can run," said Boudreaux. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash!

"Great!" exclaimed the excited coach. "But can you pass a football?"

Boudreaux rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds and replied,"Mais, Coach", he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

Informing next of kin:
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones replied, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line.

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate Ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific!? My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..

What about your son?"The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed? He's my son and l love him.? And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

Doctors. Doctors. Doctors
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink alcohol?"
"Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, I have heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf or tennis, sailing ballooning / motorcycling / rock climbing?"
"No I don't", I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said quizzically, "Then why do you care if you live to be 80?"
This one I prefer.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his check-up, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress."
If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse.
Try to relax your husband in the evenings by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television.
And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim.
If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

At the end of a tiny deserted bar sits a drunken Irishman. He's having a few beers when a gay man walks in and sits beside him.

After three or four beers, the gay fellow finally plucks up the courage to say something to the Irishman. Leaning over towards him, he whispers, "Do you want a blow job?"

At this the Irishman leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the crap out of him, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised and battered in the parking lot and returns to his seat.

Amazed, the bartender quickly brings over another beer to the Irishman. "I've never seen you react like that," he says. "Just what did he say to you?"

"I don't know," the Irishman replied. "Something about a job

Husbands cheating on their wives:
A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day she calls home and a strange woman answers.
Wife: Who is this?
Maid: This is the maid.
Wife: We don't have a maid.
Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house.
Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there?
MAID: He's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I assumed was his wife.
The wife is fuming. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?
MAID: Of course! What will I have to do?
WIFE: I want you to take my gun from the desk and shoot him and the woman he's with.
The maid puts the phone down. The wife hears footsteps, then gunshots, then more footsteps. MAID: What do I do with the bodies?
WIFE: Just drag them out and throw them in the swimming pool.
MAID: There's no pool here.
A long pause. . . .
WIFE: Is this 832-4821?


======================================================

A young Italian man from New Jersey excitedly tells his mother he's
> fallen
> in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun,
> Ma,
> I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm
> going to marry." The mother agrees.
> The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits
> them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay,
> Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
> She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
> "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
> The Italian mother replies, "I don't like her."

=======================================================

A Fairy told a married couple: "For being such an exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a wish"
"I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! Two
tickets appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So....I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me". The wife was deeply disappointed but,
a wish was a wish.
The Fairy Made a circle with her magic stick and.......abracadabra!.. Suddenly the husband was 90 years old.
Men might be stupid....
But Fairies are....................Female!

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian.  He found that the problem was hair in its ears.  He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.



The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.



The lady goes to the drug store and gets some Nair" hair remover.  At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."



The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."



The druggist says, "Well if you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."



The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."



The druggist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a week."

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LOUISIANA GHOST STORY

This happened about a month ago just outside of Cocodrie, a little town
in
the bayou country of Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred
Hitchcock
tale, it's real.

This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on
a
real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and
no
cars went by.

It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his
face.
Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing
ghostlike in
the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed the door;
only
then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no
sound of
an engine to be heard over the rain. Again the car crept slowly forward
and
the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running.
The
guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too
scared to
jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life; he was sure the
ghost
car would go off the road and in the bayou and he would surely drown!
But
just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window
and a
hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the
car safely around the bend.   Then, just as silently, the hand
disappeared
through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they
reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he
could
take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two
shots
of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A
silence
enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was
telling the truth (and not just some drunk).
About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to
the
other, "Look Boudreaux, ders dat idiot that rode in our car when we wuz
pushin it in the rain."

  I'm Fine
Boudreaux had a bad vehicle accident, caused by a truck. In court, the
trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Boudreaux.

Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine," asked the
lawyer.

Boudreaux responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just
loaded
my favorite mule, Bessie, into the ...."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer
the
question? Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine!"?

Boudreaux said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road.."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish
the
fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway
Patrolman
on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the
accident he
is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.

Please tell him to answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreaux's answer and
said
to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite
mule,
Bessie".

Boudreaux thanked the Judge and proceeded, " Well as I was saying, I
had
just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving
her
down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop
sign and
smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and
Bessie
was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to
move.
However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was
in
terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway
Patrolman came on the scene. he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning
so he
went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot
her
between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand,
and
looked at me, and said "How are you feeling?"

"Now what the hell would you say?" 

Best Cuban Joke
This is my translation of an actual Cuban joke forwarded to me by a Mexican diplomat in Washington.

On a recent visit to Cuba, Vladimir Putin found that most Cubans' shoes have holes in them, and so he asked Fidel, "Oye chico, how is this possible after 40 years of 'progress'?"

Annoyed, Fidel answers, "And what about Russia? Have you done any better?"

Putin says, "Ombe, When you want I'll invite you to Russia and if you find a single person with ripped-up shoes you have permission to kill him. No problems."

They got on Putin's plane and went to Russia. As soon as Fidel got off the plane, the first thing he saw was someone whose shoes were all ripped up, and so he grabbed his pistol and BOOM! killed him.

The following day, Russian newspapers carried this banner headline: "Old Bearded Man Kills Cuban Ambassador in Moscow Airport."

========================================================

Another dumb blonde joke
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming their dogs like that?"

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOO.....," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly  to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both
hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her
hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.. "Is there anything I can
do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her
forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers
into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him,"she whispered,"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper
towels in the ladies room."

no one else on the board knows how to post a joke?

WHERE DRIVERS ARE FROM

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO

One hand on wheel, one fist out window: NEW YORK

One hand on wheel, one fist out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON

One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO , but driving in CALIFORNIA

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY

One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS

Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA

 ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST


Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.


3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.


6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.


7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam


12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.


13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.


14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.


15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that,
when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

The old cowhand
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

"Nope, but it sure keeps me from lickin' 'em."

Sadie and Yetta, two Jewish widows, are talking.
Sadie: "That nice tailor, Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Yetta: "Vell... I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual like a clock. And like such a mensch he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but such a beautiful car.....a limousine even, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... Marvelous dinner. Lobster, even. Den ve go see a show... Let me tell you Sadie, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!

So then we are coming back to my apartment and into an ANIMAL he turns. Completely crazy! , he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!

Sadie: "Oy! Vey... So you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Yetta: "No... No... I'm just saying, wear schmatte (junk clothing)."!

It's finally come to this
A blonde woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

The clerk says, "What denomination?"

The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this?

Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT
in January 2009

Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is
spending her first night in the White House. She
has waited so long..........

The ghost of George Washington appears, and
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson
appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says,

"Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln
appears..
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says,


"Go to the theater."

This is what we have been waiting for...the true answers to the 5 most
important questions in the world:

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, only "down under."

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because, when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go,
they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Now, you know everything you need to know!

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;



The secret of a happy marriage
With a man soon to celebrate his 50th wedding
anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the
minister asked Pete to take a few minutes and give
some insight into how he managed to maintain his
marriage with the same woman all these years. The
husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her
with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took
her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired "Trips to where?" "For our 25th
anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister then said, "What a terrific example you
are to all husbands, Pete. Please tell the audience
what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th
anniversary?"

Pete: "I'm going to go get her."


Boudreaux's Daughter
Boudreaux's 21-one-year-old, unmarried daughter tells
her parents she thinks she is expecting. Very worried,
they go to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, and crying, Boudreaux says, "Who
'dat pig what did you like 'dis? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later a Ferrari stops in front of Boudreaux's
house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair,
impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out
of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with Boudreaux, the mother
and the girl and tells them, "Good morning, your
daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry
her because of my personal family situation, but I'll
take responsibility."

"If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail
stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000
bank account.

"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of
factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you
suggest I do?"

At this point, Boudreaux, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells
him, "'Den you try agin!"


======================================================

An old-time southern, hell fire & brimstone country preacher had a
teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought
to choosing a profession.

Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do,
and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an
experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table
four objects:

- a Bible,

- a silver dollar,

- a bottle of whisky and

- a Playboy magazine

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself,
"when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object
he picks up.

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a
blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that
would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good, low down
drunkard, and, Lord, help me.... what a shame that would be.

And worst of all..... if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a
skirt-chasin', no good bum."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he
entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his
books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the
objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to
inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked
up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the
bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's
gonna be a Congressman!"