3SOF

 Apparently this is the most popular screen saver in the U.S. If he gets stuck, push him with your cursor. You can also grab him with the cursor & chuck him about, and whizz him round and round!!!



  http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm



May your day be filled with all things good.

From the "New Market Wizards" - interview with Linda Bradford Rashke.


Coudn't you train assistants to apply your methodologies to the markets you can't watch?
I've tried that. I hired and trained someone for a year. He was the nicest person you could hope to meet. Any organization would have been proud to have him as an employee. He was extremely hardworking and loyal. He was in perfect physical shape_he ate well and practiced karate every day. Emotionally, he was on such an even keel that I never once saw him get angry at anyone.
I put a lot of time and effort into training him. I even gave him his own account, because I thought that the only way he could learn to trade was by doing it. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.

What went wrong?
He didn't seem to have any passion for trading. He coudn't pull the trigger. I think he didn't like the idea of taking risks. [Linda describes a typical conversation with her assistant:]
"OK, Steve, what's your game plan for today?"
"I think I'm going to buy wheat today," he says, explaining his reasons for the trade.
"That's great!" I say, trying to encourage him.
At the end of the day, I ask him, Did you buy the wheat?"
"No," he answers.
"Well, what did you do?"
"I watched it go up."

A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."



Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.



Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00.' "Why not?" thought t he salesman.

He paid the money, inserted his

hands in to the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen second s later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.



The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.



With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his member...

which now had a button sewed on the end.


========================================================

Your last wish
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

On his deathbed
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I do! I do!"

BUENOS DIAS!!!

JOU HAVE YUST RECEIBED A MEHICAN BYRUS.

SIN WE NO HABE SO GOOD TECHNIOLOGICALLY ADBANCE IN MEHICO, DEES IS A MANUAL BYRUS.

PLEESE DELETE ALL JOUR FILES ON JOUR HARD-DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND THEES E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW.

TANK JOU FOR HALPING ME.

JULIO MANUEL JOSE RODRIGUEZ-GARCIA,
Mexican hacker

The Real Man Test"

Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these
questions. Knowing this, women will have
come far in understanding men and enriching
their own lives if they carefully review the "C" answers.

1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit
the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter.
As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present
you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device
that is capable of curing all disease, providing an
infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger
and poverty, and permanently eliminating
oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.

You decide to:

A. Present it to the President of the United States.

B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United
Nations.

C. Take it apart.



2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your
youthful life do you miss the most?

A. Innocence.

B. Idealism.

C. Cherry bombs.



3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection
without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.

B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)

C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and
this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him
know that, for business reasons, you have to have him
killed.

4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A. A cat.

B. A dog.

C. A dog that eats cats.



5. You have been seeing a woman for several years.
She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy
being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two
of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out
of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she
really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is
going. She says she's not asking whether you want to
get married; only whether you believe that you have
some kind of future together. What do you say?

A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a
future, but you don't want to rush it.

B. That although you also have strong feelings for her,
you can not honestly say that you'll be ready anytime
soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want
to hurt her by holding out false hope.

C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw
play on third and seventeen.



6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a
woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with
her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to
offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after
dinner.

B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you
say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea
breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her
eyes, you tell her.

C. Tell her what?


7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill
and asks you to get your three children ready for
school. Your first question to her is:

A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"

B. "They're in school already?"

C. "There are three of them?"



8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran
underwear?

A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and
developed new holes so large that you're not sure which
ones were originally intended for your legs.

B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear
molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.

C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A
real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody
and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife
is quietly trying to discard his underwear (which she
is frankly jealous of because the guy seems to have a
more intimate relationship with it than with her).



9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable
explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites
all over the place for forty years before they finally
got to the Promised Land?

A. He was being tested.

B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised
Land when they finally got there.

C. He refused to ask for directions.



10. What is the human race's single greatest
achievement?

A. Democracy.

B. Religion.

C. Remote control.

Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, "Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands."

The Arkansan replies, "Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away."

The Texan stays quiet, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.



;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Drinks Show Your Personality

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.


Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................


Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.


Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.


Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!


Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.




THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:


Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.


Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.


Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.


Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.


Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.


White Zinfandel: He's gay

Do You Know How to Get Even?
A husband and his wife begin to get snugly in bed and when just as things are heating up, his wife stops him and says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

"What!!!??" the frustrated husband replies.

"You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman," she explains.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen and goes to sleep.

The next day the husband takes his wife shopping at a big department store. He takes her around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.

"They all look great -- we'll buy all three of them!"

He then goes and gets her matching shoes worth $300 each.

Eventually, they make their way to the jewelry department where he gets her a set of diamond earrings.

His wife, plenty excited by now, tries to take advantage of her husband's generous mood and also takes a tennis bracelet to which her husband replies,

"You don't even play tennis, but if you really like it then let's get it!"

His wife, literally jumping up and down at this point, finally says, "Okay, I'm ready to go! Let's take all of this stuff to the register!"

At this point, the husband calmly looks over to his wife and says, "No-no-no, honey. I think you misunderstood. We're not going to buy all this stuff."

His wife's face goes blank and the husband continues:

"No, honey. I just wanted you to hold this stuff for a while."

His wife's face quickly turns from blank to red and just as she's about to explode her husband explains:

"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!"


;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation
level as nagging him.

France and the French (favorite is last)



France has neither winter nor summer nor morals.

Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

France has usually been governed by prostitutes."   --Mark Twain




"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a

French one behind me."                      --General George S. Patton




"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."                             

                                                            -- Norman Schwartzkopf



"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." 

                                                            --Marge Simpson



"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
                                    --Jacques Chirac, President of France.
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."   --Rush Limbaugh




"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."   

                                                            --Regis Philbin


"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."                         --Conan O'Brien




"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.

After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either."    --Jay Leno




"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."   

                                                            --David Letterman


"War without France would be like ... World War II."     --Unknown



"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs  than the Nazis?"     

                                                             --Dennis Miller



"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."      --Alan Kent




"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was,
'Never shot. Dropped once.' "                                      --Rep. Roy Blunt, MO




"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."     

                                                                                    --Dennis Miller



"Raise your right hand if you like the French, ... raise both hands if you are French."     --Unknown



Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?



A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?




"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."     

                                                                                    --Rep. R. Blount, MO




"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?

And that's because it was raining."                             --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv



The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from
Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender  and Collaborate.

The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.




French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney.

The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
In three generations, there will be no Democrats!!!
Dang, I love it when a plan comes together

-Dick Trickle, Chairman, RNC

Snowcat .. .the get even joke put different 

Monkey business at the Zoo


It was beautifully warm spring day when a man and his wife decided to visit the zoo. His pretty young wife was wearing a very short black skirt and a skimpy blue crop-top. As they strolled past the primate area a huge, male gorilla suddenly jumped up on the bars of his cage, grunted loudly and thumped his chest with his free hand.

"I think he fancies you." said the man.
"Nonsense", replied his wife. "He's just a big monkey."
"He looks pretty excited to me. Why don't you come on to him and see what he does."
His wife giggled and blew the gorilla a big kiss. The gorilla jabbered excitedly and rubbed it's crotch.

"See, he likes you!", said her husband. "Go on, tease him some more."
So she went right up to the cage, wiggled her bottom, and ran her hands slowly up and down her thighs. The Gorilla went wild and pounded his chest.
"He's gagging for it" said her husband. "Go on, give him a real thrill."
So his wife pushed her top up and started rubbing her hands all over her tits.
The Gorilla rattled the bars of it's cage and howled in frustration.

"Is there anyone looking?" asked his wife.
Her husband shook his head. She took off her top , slipped out of her bra and waved her tits at the animal.
The Gorilla was beside itself and tore at the bars in a frenzy of grunts and shrieks.

"Now take off your panties."
His wife pulled up her skirt and rolled her panties down
The gorilla went beserk and smashed the lock on the door.

Suddenly, the husband ripped his wife's panties off, wrenched open the door, and pushed her into the arms of the gorilla.

"Now, tell HIM you've got a fucking headache!"

http://cgi.ebay.com/I-sniff-used-panties-Sticker-Decal-new_W0QQitemZ140022713652QQihZ004QQcategoryZ36677QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear.

Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally, their request was granted, and they immediately flew to Yellowstone.

They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day.

For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists.

The rangers mounted a search party & found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men.Following the trails of a male and a female bear, they finally caught up with the female.

Fearing an international incident, they decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist.

They killed the female and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian scientist.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you ?"

The other ranger nodded and responded......

"I guess that means the Czech is in the male."

we need more of these

FLOWERS

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and
pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her flowers.
The Redhead sighs and says: "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me
flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: "You don't like getting
flowers from your boyfriend?" The redhead replies: "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says: ........"Don't you have a vase?"


=======================================================

An older gentleman takes his wife to their physician and tells the doctor, "There's something wrong with my wife. Don't know for sure, but she's either got AIDS or Alzheimers." The doctor laughs a little at the amateur diagnosis but agrees to check the woman out. After a short time, the doctor comes out to the waiting husband to relay his findings. "Sir, Good news, I cannot find anything wrong with your wife."

The man refuses to believe this, adamantly declaring his wife has AIDS or Alzheimers. He begs the physician for advice. After a few minutes the befuddled doctor finally responds. "The only advice I can offer is this. Take your wife far out into the desert, drop her off and return home."

"Great, I'll do it," the husband responds. But after a few moments, he looks at the doctor a little puzzled. "What if she finds her way home?"

Without even flinching the doctor says, "Then don't have sex with her."
3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
> >
> >        40-ish..................... 49
> >
> >       Adventurous............. Slept with everyone
> >
> >
> >       Athletic................... No tits
> >
> >
> >        Average looking........ Moooo
> >
> >
> >        Beautiful.................. Pathological liar
> >
> >
> >        Buxom..................... Fat
> >
> >
> >        Emotionally Secure.... On  medication
> >
> >
> >        Feminist.................. Fat
> >
> >
> >        Free spirit................ Junkie
> >
> >
> >       Friendship first.......... Former slut
> >
> >
> >        New-Age................. Body hair in the wrong places
> >
> >       Old-fashioned........... No BJs
> >
> >
> >        Open-minded............ Desperate
> >
> >
> >        Outgoing................. Loud and Embarrassing
> >
> >
> >        Professional.............. Bitch
> >
> >
> >        Voluptuous............... Very Fat
> >
> >
> >       Large frame.............. Hugely Fat
> >
> >      Wants Soul  mate...... Stalker
> >
> >> >
> >
> >  WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
> >
> >
> >        Yes............................................ No
> >
> >
> >        No.............................................. Yes
> >
> >
> >        Maybe......................................... No
> >
> >        We need...................................... I want
> >
> >
> >        I am sorry.................................... You'll be sorry
> >
> >
> >        We need to talk............................ You're in trouble
> >
> >
> >        Sure, go ahead............................. You better not
> >
> >
> >        Do what you want......................... You will pay for this
> > later
> >
> >        I am not upset.............................. Of course I am
pissed,
> > you moron!
> >
> >        You're certainly attentive tonight..... Is sex all you ever think
> > about?
> >
> >
> >             MEN'S ENGLISH:
> >
> >
> >        I am hungry.................................. I am hungry
> >
> >        I am sleepy.................................. I am sleepy
> >
> >        I am tired..................................... I am tired
> >
> >        Nice dress.................................... Nice boobs!
> >
> >        I love you.................................... Let's have sex now
> >
> >        I am bored................................... Do you want to have
> > sex?
> >
> >        May I have this dance?.................. I'd like to have sex
with
> > you
> >
> >        Can I call you sometime.................. I'd like to have sex
with
> > you
> >
> >       Do you want to go to a movie?........ I'd like to have sex with
you
> >
> >
> >       Can I  take you out to dinner?......... I'd like to have sex with
> > you
6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Click below and have a good laugh!


http://www.ladyskylar.com/swffiles/thong.swf

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